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Failed Parents: How To Avoid Becoming One Now

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Introduction

Proverbs 22:6, “Train up (teach or give instruction or direct) a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart (turn away) from it.

Can you, as a parent, say that you have done your part as you should (in short, you are not a failed parent), or do you feel like something is missing on your part as a parent? Yes, the Bible instructs us to do so, but the question is, do we do so, and to what extent? Have we partially or completely abandoned our duties? Are we, as parents, supposed to be reminded to do our duty by relevant authorities, or other parents? If so, it may be a sign of failed parenting.

I know as a parent myself that raising godly children in this ever-changing world is a big challenge. I know that the world around us is enough destruction for us parents, let alone our children.  That is the more the reason that we need God in the midst of it all.

When last did you pray for your children? When last did you read the Bible with your children? When last did you pray with them?

If you have asked yourself these questions, then you will see that you, as a parent, have a great responsibility to train your children in the right way.

According to Psalm 127:3, “Children are a gift (heritage, inheritance, or blessing) from the LORD; they are a reward from him. So, from this passage, we see that God is the legal owner of our children. God gives us as he wills and deems fit. So, we, as parents, and even those who are failed parents, are answerable to God just as children are answerable to us.

It is therefore our Christian duty to introduce our children to God, who is their legal father. We read this in the book of 1 Samuel 1:28, “I now give (dedicate, lend, or grant) the boy to the LORD. For as long as he lives, he is given (belongs to or is dedicated) to the LORD.” Then he worshiped the Lord there.

Have you, as a parent, done that, or are you still deciding? Or have you dedicated your children to a deity or another foreign god?

I know as a parent that it takes a community to raise a good child, but you can’t leave everything pertaining to your child to chance or other people. The reason we are seeing many children turn out to be what they are, is because of the role their parents played (they were failed parents).

As parents, when last did we read and reflect on this verse found in Colossians 3:21, “Fathers (parents), do not provoke (embitter or antagonize or irritate or distress or vex or be too hard) your children, so they may not become discouraged.”

As a parent, how have you applied this verse in your home? Do you feel like you have provoked your children, and now you are not on good terms with them? Is it the child’s fault, or are you partially to blame for what is happening in the lives of your children?

Are you that parent who feels that nothing that your child does is good enough? Do you set unrealistic goals or targets for your children to attain, and if they fail, then you are all out to punish them?

How is your language when your child does something wrong? Is it scary, or is it reaffirming that this is not the end of the world? Try again. Don’t scare your children away from you because of how you handle things.

I know that everyone wants the best for his or her child, but always do everything within the confines of love.

Never compare one child to another because we are all unique and wonderful, made by God (Psalm 139:14).

One child might be good at one thing but not the other, but that is the beauty of life. So let’s embrace diversity and tolerate our children for how God created them.

Are you that parent who is difficult to please? This can push the child off the right path, so be careful. When last did you create bonding time with your children? This could have something to do with eating out together as a family, attending sightseeing together, or even watching a movie together, and things like that.

As parents, we must be careful how our children see us because we are the mirrors of their souls. So, what are our children seeing through us?  Are they seeing monsters?  because if that is what they are seeing, then they will eventually become monsters.

How Have Parents Failed God In Raising Their Children?

1. Showing favouritism can lead you to become a failed parent. .

We see that in the book of Genesis 27. Isaac showed favoritism towards Esau, and that caused division in the home. Avoid it at all costs and learn to accept all children equally.

2. Not disciplining your children when they are wrong can lead you to become a failed parent.

We see that according to 1 Samuel 2:12–17, the sons of Eli [Hophni and Phinehas] were worthless (dishonorable, unprincipled) men; they did not know [nor respect] the LORD and the custom of the priests with [the sacrifices of] the people. When any man was offering a sacrifice, the priest’s servant would come while the meat was boiling, with a three-pronged [meat] fork in his hand; then he would thrust it into the pan, or kettle, or caldron, or pot; everything that the fork brought up the priest would take for himself. This is what they did in Shiloh to all [the sacrifices of] the Israelites who came there. 

Also, before they burned (offered) the fat, the priest’s servant would come and say to the man who was sacrificing, “Give the priest meat to roast, since he will not accept boiled meat from you, only raw.” If the man said to him, “Certainly they are to burn (offer) the fat first, and then you may take as much as you want,” then the priest’s servant would say, “No! You shall give it to me now, or I will take it by force.” So the sin of the [two] young men [Hophni and Phinehas] was very great before the LORD, for the men treated the offering of the LORD disrespectfully.

Eli failed to discipline his two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, for their corrupt behavior in the temple of the Lord. Eli was a failed parent, and that failed parenting cost him dearly.

3. Not understanding your child’s calling can lead you to become a failed parent

We see, according to Judges 13, Manoah never understood his son Samson’s calling and hence never gave him the necessary guidance. As a result of being a failed parent, his son ended up making very wrong decisions.

4. Relying on yourself instead of the Lord can lead you to become a failed parent

You are in the spiritual battle of your life, and you can’t fight it alone and win. Fight with total reliance on the Lord. And, be humble, ask for prayer, pray for one another, and look for help from spiritual authorities when appropriate. Stop pretending that you have your act together. The world also gives false encouragement: “You’ve got this! You can do it!”

5. By not reading the Bible for instruction can lead you to become a failed parent

Quit reading the wrong parenting book and listening to the wrong people, who might probably make you a worse failed parent. Spend more time reading your Bible, and then read other books later.

6. By not praying and fasting can lead you to become a failed parent

7. Setting a bad example for your children can lead you to become a failed parent.

We read in the Bible, in the books of 1 Kings 12:25–33; 15: 25-30, that Jeroboam led the northern kingdom of Israel into idol worshipping, setting a bad example for his son Nadab.

What Should Children Do To Help Their Failed Parents?

Forgive them:

According to Matthew 18:21–22, ” Then Peter came to Him and asked, “Lord, how many times will my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered him, “I say to you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven.

This passage tells us to forgive others. our attitude toward them soft and ensures we don’t harden ourselves against God (Matthew 6:14–15).

Reconcile with them:

Romans 12:18 don’t respond to abuse with more abuse.

Pray: According to Matthew 5:44, “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,”

Provide for them:

In Mark 7:9–13, He was also saying to them, “You are experts at setting aside and nullifying the commandment of God in order to keep your [man-made] tradition and regulations. For Moses said, ‘HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER [with respect and gratitude]’; and, ‘HE WHO SPEAKS EVIL OF HIS FATHER OR MOTHER MUST BE PUT TO DEATH’; but you [Pharisees and scribes] say, ‘If a man tells his father or mother,

“Whatever I have that would help you is Corban, (that is to say, already a gift to God),”’ then you no longer let him do anything for his father or mother [since helping them would violate his vow of Corban]; so you nullify the [authority of the] word of God [acting as if it did not apply] because of your tradition which you have handed down [through the elders]. And you do many things such as that.”We should care for our parents unconditionally otherwise, we might end up becoming a failed parent.

Seek counsel if need arises:

According to James 1:5, “If any of you needs wisdom to know what you should do, you should ask God, and he will give it to you. God is generous to everyone and doesn’t find fault with them.” Sometimes you might seek the counsel of even your pastor or other authorities for clarity. By seeking the counsel to lead you not to become a failed parent,.

Love them:

According to Matthew 5:43–48, “You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR (fellow man) and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for] your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may [show yourselves to] be the children of your Father who is in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on those who are evil and on those who are good, and makes the rain fall on the righteous [those who are morally upright] and the unrighteous [the unrepentant, those who oppose Him]. For if you love [only] those who love you, what reward do you have?

Do not even the tax collectors do that? And if you greet only your brothers [wishing them God’s blessing and peace], what more [than others] are you doing? Do not even the Gentiles [who do not know the Lord] do that? You, therefore, will be perfect [growing into spiritual maturity both in mind and character, actively integrating godly values into your daily life], as your heavenly Father is perfect. Jesus exhorts us to love our enemies

With this in mind, those who are children should respect their parents, and those who are parents should do their best to not be a failed parent because failed parenting can sometimes determine whether your child succeeds or not. Therefore, let’s avoid being failed parents.

Pastor Nathaniel

Relevant posts:

God Has Given Us Children As A Wonderful Gift Now. – 2024 (mtmchurch.org)

Children: Who Is Your Master God Or Devil Now – 2024 (mtmchurch.org)

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